BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
The sound of my alarm sent me flying into consciousness as I fumble to find the snooze button. The alarm clock clatters to the floor, still ringing. I could hear my neighbors banging on the other side of the wall, yelling for me to shut up (in a bit more colorful language). I finally slammed the off button down and am suddenly plunged into complete silence. The red numbers flashed off and on as I replace my clock to my night stand, it was 6:00am. Rubbing my eyes and trying to stretch out the stiffness in my muscles, I pull the curtains aside. Even though the sun is hardly up, the small street I looked out upon is already bustling with people, a dense layer of fog still lurking in the streets and covering the roofs of houses. Sirens blare in the distance and a few seconds later flashing lights split through the darkness like lightning as the Fire Engine careens by. I close the curtains and step away, pulling the clothes I had layed out the night before off of my small chest to pull them on. My coffee pot beeps -the highlight of my morning so far- so I empty the last of my coffee grounds into the filter, give my favorite mug a rinse, and slide it under the dispenser. As the coffee slowly drips into my mug, I rinse my face and begin brushing my teeth. Covered in shaving cream, I'm gazing at the tired looking man staring back at me in the mirror when I catch a whiff of an acidic smell wafting in from the hall.
"Coffee!" I shout, running into my kitchen just in time to shatter my ear drums as the fire alarm goes off. Five minutes later -after a battle including getting zapped by my coffee maker and smashing my fire alarm to pieces with a mop-, I am sprawled out on the kitchen floor, holding a bag of cold peas to my head.
It's one of those days. One of those really loud days.
Daily coffeee dosage-less and briefcase in hand, I step out to face the world. Of course, the metro is late. I'm beginning to wonder if this day could get any worse when my tie gets shut in the doors. Awesome. Already having missed my morning meeting, I decide to slip into a coffee shop to escape the chilly morning fog and try attempt number two at getting a cup of coffee. I place my order and receive my coffee successfully. So far so good. Joy pulses through my veins as I cup my hands around the warm, paper cup and the strong sense of coffee with cream clears my thoughts. Ahh, sweet relief. A smile is spreading on my lips as I step from the bustle of the coffee shop into the bustle of the street. I check my watch, just in time to make it to the next meeting. The fog has closed in on the streets in a dense cloud so I keep my gaze on the ground and on the path in front of me to keep from stumbling and spilling my coffee. I pull my scarf up around my neck, why is it always so cold? Why is it always so foggy here? I grumble to myself, bringing my cup up to my lips for a sip and then SLAM. In a blur of coffee and a flurry of arms and briefcase articles, I am on the ground, staring up at the grey abyss stretching in front of me. I sit up to assess the damage on my coat but the sudden movement sends the world spinning so I slump back down, figuring the cold, cobble-stone side walk is more safe than the world that treads on it. This day really could not get any worse. I should have noticed the signs in my apartment, locked the door, and hid under the covers. Instead here I am, lying in a puddle of coffee in the middle of the sidewalk with a raging headache and I-
"I am so sorry!" A voice interrupts my self pity wallowing and I look up to see a young woman watching me with a concerned and horrified expression. She is also covered in coffee -I smell it is mine judging by the essence of hazelnut. "I didn't see you, are you okay?" She asks, kneeling beside me. "I'm such a klutz," she shakes her head, "I'm sorry. I really should start paying attention to my surroundings at some point in time..."
She continues on but I can't focus on her words. She is using her handkerchief (I didn't know those even existed anymore) to blot the coffee from my face and coat. Her hair is long and brown, shining with beads of water from the fog. I study her face as she continues talking, each word barely breaching my consciousness. Who is she? I have never seen her before and very few tourists venture into these small streets. Her accent is also a give away: she is definitely not from around here. A fellow American possibly?
"Do you hear me?" Her voice brings me back to reality and I realize she is looking into my eyes, holding out the papers from my briefcase.
I shake my head to clear it and force a friendly smile, quickly standing to brush myself off and stuffing the papers back into my briefcase. "Yes, sorry, I just-" I break off as the world swims around me. She catches me, staggering back a moment then helping me erect myself.
"Let's get you cleaned up," she says, giving me a concerned, dazzling smile. I can only nod, having given up on my verbal abilities. It is probably best to keep my mouth shut as much as possible until I can think clearly. "Come on, I know a small cafe where we can buy you another coffee and wait for your coat to dry. Do you have time?"
I smile and nod my head with a shrug, "I do now."
A smile spreads on her face and suddenly, the fog has faded. Like in the movies when a ray of heavenly light gleams down from heaven. I can almost hear the hallelujah chorus... Today is going to be a very good day.
I like it. I think you did a fabulous job of it! I can totally relate with the battle to get your coffee! lol There's a clear story line, but you don't bore us with who the people are, and a background story, like Jennette was saying :)
ReplyDeleteJust one thing: "the street I looked out upon are already bustling with people." "are" should be "is" since you're talking about just one street.
I like it too! The plot was effectively delivered, the story was concise, and the conclusion was concluding. I like that it can be both the end of a story and a chapter, so the young fellow's life can continue to be told in other stories. I do disagree about the background details though.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I like the background details and the descriptive details. They put me into the story more effectively. Even though it is a short story, I like to be effectively immersed into the situation so that I may easily relate to the character.
You do need to double check grammar though.
Overall, quite excellent! =)
Which grammar errors did you see?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback :)